Weekend Update

Ahh if only this was going to be as funny as SNL's Weekend Update. It's not. How did the talk go this weekend? Short answer, it didn't. Why? Well the good thing is we accomplished a lot this weekend. The bad thing, we spent money we probabally should not of (notably the 600.00 on suits for the Bloke tops highest on the list). To be fair, he wears suits for work and hasn't bought a new suit in a year and a half...and his, well, some leave something to be desired. The question is, did we need to buy them NOW? The answer is no. He knows the new suits=having to pay for the new suits so I'm hoping these give him a new lease on closing deals. I have to say, being outfitted in a new suit makes me feel fresh. So Bloke. Do it. Work those new suits.

The B's are Famous (again)

Last year I had a moment of fluffy lovely feeling and submitted our love story to Boston.com. Well, they love us so much it is back online for 2009 :) Click this link to view the story, show us some love.

Have you talked with your partner about money?

I, for one, have not. Well that's not completely true. We've talked about money. We've talked about goals. We've talked until I am blue in the face about where were are LACKING and where we need supplemental income. And I complain when the Bloke does nothing about it. I stew and complain and feel it all falls on deaf ears.

But isn't part of this my fault? I do the bills. I mange the money. I've always been that person in the relationship, shouldering the stress and worry of how we will pay the bills. How I will feed us. How to avoid finance charges. The Bloke has access to our accounts but that isn't enough. Ask me how much our current primary mortgage payment is? $2541. 07 (I'm currently stalking our refinance guy to get that down!). Ask the Bloke. I can guarantee he has no idea. But who's fault is that, his or mine?

We do talk about money...in fact, it's a big topic of conversation. We say things need to change. But he goes to his computer and I go to mine and spend time online and on facebook and ignoring what is blatantly needing to be done. Taking a good HARD look at our incomings and outgoings and making a plan. I have a budget, I follow it for the most part (hah) but that's not really what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about outlining our top 3 priorities for the year and being alligned on them. That's important, getting his buy in. I've asked him what his financial priorities are and I can tell you he does not include saving money for when I'm out on maternity leave (God willing next year). That's a big problem.

So, on our 'to do' list this weekend is to look at everything TOGETHER. We have a lot coming in over the next few months (heafty tax returns, some good commision on the Bloke's deals) but the outgoings are still there plus more (a heavy credit card bill from last month is currently the cross I bare). I lay awake and fret and worry and it's not fair to me to handle that on my own but it's not fair to the Bloke for me to be passive agressive about my disatisfaction at the situation. So there. Hold me to it.

I know you're all wondering....

How it's going, the limiting e-communications during the day. Well, we're on day 3 and it's REALLY helping. Save the car ride last night from the train station, where the Bloke was arguing a bit more than usual with the NPR reporters where I was in no mood to talk.

But Monday night, I actually felt like talking to him instead of retreating into my hole. Last night, he helped by making part of the dinner. It's hard to make the shift, it's so easy when I see he's logged in online to say something. But it's making the time we spend together more valuable. Where is the fun in me telling him a stupid story in a chat window, when we could laugh about it together?

I have not left any notes. I'm being lazy since Valentines is around the corner and since we have no money for gifts, we'll at least write a note or a card. I don't want to spend all my creative juices prematurely. That sounds dirty. But I will see if I can incorporate it in.

Also this weekend I started the first of our little experiments. I'll report on that later.

Thanks to everyone who has emailed me, called me, offered support in this. What I'm hearing from everyone is how relevant this topic is. I'm not going to lie, it's a reason I created the site. So feel free to leave comments or email me!

The IM Cessation: Not as easy as you think....

I'm attempting to cut down e-communication to a minimum. We've had a series of very short one sentence messages to each other....hopefully this will leave me something to talk to him about when I get home today. I normally pour my thoughts out in that little window in my chat bar. Do I feel better saying them as I would face to face? Absolutely not. There is barely any fulfillment from IM ranting or chatting....and if I spent all day chatting with my husband online, I don't want to talk when we get home! Then it's day in day out wake up go to work come home cook dinner go to bed and start all over again!

So lets see how long I can hold out...and if I actually feel like talking when I get home which would be new for me.

Tell us stuff....

It seems Broke Babe can be clueless on the computer, which given how much time she spends on one daily....is quite shocking.

Comments on posts are now enabled....we've asked for your feedback. Now you can tell us!!!!

Mr. Digital Revolution Killed Love Letters

Early on, Broke Bloke was quite a romantic (I know I know, aren't we all in the beginning?) I miss the notes from my husband, with his crooked lefty scrawl and messages of love so strong sometimes I'd crave a glass of wine with the cheese. We were both fortunate and unfortunate with the nature of our relationship: 2 years, multiple time zones and 3500 miles apart leaves one with idle time to craft love letters. Nothing made me happier than getting a card in the mail from him.

What has our correspondence boiled down to recently? Instant messages. Even, when we are in the same house, we will communicate via IM. While this can be useful at times, e-conversations are not the same as the scrawl of your beloved. They are impersonal, text on a screen (which after a long day makes my eyes cross with weariness) They take place of conversations that might have happened after work in person, reducing the effect of the all mighty RANT. Mr. Digital Revolution, with his text messages (hate them), IMs (OK they are convenient) and emails has encroached on my marriage and I want to send that guy packing.

I don't expect to be like Bess Truman, receiving over 1500 love letters from my husband (Harry, might have been a touch of overkill but I give you credit!) but I think it would get fun to get back to the pen and paper. My parents have been married over 35 years and are chronic note writers, something I've always envied. When one of them goes away, you can be sure there is a card or note squirreled away somewhere. It's engaging, it's inspiring, it's romantic.

My quest for this week is to use some of the many items of stationary we've accrued over the years to revisit this. I'm going to challenge myself to be less lazy and to limit e-correspondence. I'm curious if this will help the communication lines any. Broke Bloke knows nothing of this yet, so lets see how he responds. Anyone care to join me?