Cash is King...I am the Queen

The bloke and I have paid off a lot debt over our relationship. I came into the relationship knowing he had a lot of debt and knowing we'd have to pay it off together. Luckily we got hitched and I moved to the UK, I could not imagine paying off sterling in dollars..back when it was $1=.50 sterling). Once we were out of the debt hole, a year and a half into our marriage...we felt rich. I mean, no more paying debt?! So we were uber responsible and lived off one salary and squirreled away another....we bought things with our credit card and paid it off every month. And because we had that other salary going to the bank...seeing the high balance on the credit card didn't bother me.

Fast forward to now, where high balances paralyze me with fear. Proper fear. We charge a lot of items on our cards for the miles (worth it yes...but tell me when we can afford to travel again mmkay?). Every month I'd watch the balance grow and grow and I'd get a pit in my stomach...forcing me to extremes (like creating this blog, how about them apples?).

Finally I've decided to take the biggest step in our financial freedom so to speak. We're on the cash only system. It's a new month and I've planned out what needs to be in our account to get us through to mid month....and then what we'll need to the end of the month. (some call this budgeting-GET OUT!!!). I've moved the rest into savings (Thank you US tax return HAH!) and we will live off of what we have. The credit card is RETIRED.

As if by magic, my credit card had to reissue my card due to the data stealing that happened a month ago...so this has forced me to move all of our automatic payments to our bank accounts...and the credit card will be used for work purchases only. (That $5,000 flight to Singapore? CHA CHING Miles!) I already feel great about this. In fact...I love looking at my bank balance every day and seeing money leaving it (Don't lock me up ok?). I feel in control again and it is the best feeling ever. I know exactly where I am every day...and where we have to cut back. So, here is to a month of ALL CASH.

Have any of you made this change recently and benefited from it? What are the struggles you've encountered along the way? Do your partners buy into the 'Cash is King' mentality?

Have you talked with your partner about money?

I, for one, have not. Well that's not completely true. We've talked about money. We've talked about goals. We've talked until I am blue in the face about where were are LACKING and where we need supplemental income. And I complain when the Bloke does nothing about it. I stew and complain and feel it all falls on deaf ears.

But isn't part of this my fault? I do the bills. I mange the money. I've always been that person in the relationship, shouldering the stress and worry of how we will pay the bills. How I will feed us. How to avoid finance charges. The Bloke has access to our accounts but that isn't enough. Ask me how much our current primary mortgage payment is? $2541. 07 (I'm currently stalking our refinance guy to get that down!). Ask the Bloke. I can guarantee he has no idea. But who's fault is that, his or mine?

We do talk about money...in fact, it's a big topic of conversation. We say things need to change. But he goes to his computer and I go to mine and spend time online and on facebook and ignoring what is blatantly needing to be done. Taking a good HARD look at our incomings and outgoings and making a plan. I have a budget, I follow it for the most part (hah) but that's not really what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about outlining our top 3 priorities for the year and being alligned on them. That's important, getting his buy in. I've asked him what his financial priorities are and I can tell you he does not include saving money for when I'm out on maternity leave (God willing next year). That's a big problem.

So, on our 'to do' list this weekend is to look at everything TOGETHER. We have a lot coming in over the next few months (heafty tax returns, some good commision on the Bloke's deals) but the outgoings are still there plus more (a heavy credit card bill from last month is currently the cross I bare). I lay awake and fret and worry and it's not fair to me to handle that on my own but it's not fair to the Bloke for me to be passive agressive about my disatisfaction at the situation. So there. Hold me to it.