It's been too long

I created this blog after loads of sleepless nights and frustrations surrounding our financial status at the conception of this blog.

I jotted down tons of ideas, witty posts, and I let it die. I'm sorry about that.

A little update on us. We're not so broke anymore and that's a good thing. Of course, the bad thing is I've let 'broke in love' slide. But really down in the bottom of my heart, being responsible with money and our future is paramount in my mind.

So why should this blog die? So my lovely few remaining readers, it's not going to! There will be no pigenholing here. No 'sorry you're not broke enough to be commentating on this'. Forget it!

This will be what it was meant to be. A place for people to share ways to live life, have fun, share tips and tricks for living a cost effective life.

As I sit here drinking my diet tonic and Bombay Sapphire I got at Duty Free on my last cross atlantic trip...it reminds me how far we have come (hi we have a SECOND CAR!!!!) and how far we have to go!

More on the car. It's a used, 2006 VW Jetta 2.5 sport edition. It's hot. My husband is in LOVE with this car. Seriously. I think our marriage has improved leaps and bounds in the purchase of a car with 32K on it. We both now have our independance (I use the CX7 when I need to a few times a week to park at the station-but hate paying the 4.00 a day!- but it lets me get on with MY life too!) I had my first real taste of freedom this weekend when out with friends, I was out almost the whole day with neary a word about 'Where I was' because HE HAD A CAR TOO!!!!!!!

It's heaven. And our payment, since we put a decent chunk down, is a little over 200.00. Used cars, the right used cars, rock. Let's hope ours stays that way! :)

The Babe has been working......

To help us lose our broke status, I take portraits of children and families on weekends. I tried something new to help out an organization I used to volunteer with, the Junior League of Boston. I shot their ball at the beginning of March and have been up to my ears in editing as it is way out of my comfort zone. I also did a shoot yesterday for a one year old in Lowell. Interested in seeing? Visit my photography blog.

And of course, if you're interested in any photo work and are in the New England area, feel free to visit my website! :)

But for real...these things keep me very busy.....and bring in some money here and there which helps us in the grand scheme of things! So at the moment....I'm mum. But don't worry, I have plenty of ideas in the hopper...I just need to get them down on paper! ;) More later this week!

Cash is King...I am the Queen

The bloke and I have paid off a lot debt over our relationship. I came into the relationship knowing he had a lot of debt and knowing we'd have to pay it off together. Luckily we got hitched and I moved to the UK, I could not imagine paying off sterling in dollars..back when it was $1=.50 sterling). Once we were out of the debt hole, a year and a half into our marriage...we felt rich. I mean, no more paying debt?! So we were uber responsible and lived off one salary and squirreled away another....we bought things with our credit card and paid it off every month. And because we had that other salary going to the bank...seeing the high balance on the credit card didn't bother me.

Fast forward to now, where high balances paralyze me with fear. Proper fear. We charge a lot of items on our cards for the miles (worth it yes...but tell me when we can afford to travel again mmkay?). Every month I'd watch the balance grow and grow and I'd get a pit in my stomach...forcing me to extremes (like creating this blog, how about them apples?).

Finally I've decided to take the biggest step in our financial freedom so to speak. We're on the cash only system. It's a new month and I've planned out what needs to be in our account to get us through to mid month....and then what we'll need to the end of the month. (some call this budgeting-GET OUT!!!). I've moved the rest into savings (Thank you US tax return HAH!) and we will live off of what we have. The credit card is RETIRED.

As if by magic, my credit card had to reissue my card due to the data stealing that happened a month ago...so this has forced me to move all of our automatic payments to our bank accounts...and the credit card will be used for work purchases only. (That $5,000 flight to Singapore? CHA CHING Miles!) I already feel great about this. In fact...I love looking at my bank balance every day and seeing money leaving it (Don't lock me up ok?). I feel in control again and it is the best feeling ever. I know exactly where I am every day...and where we have to cut back. So, here is to a month of ALL CASH.

Have any of you made this change recently and benefited from it? What are the struggles you've encountered along the way? Do your partners buy into the 'Cash is King' mentality?

Broke Girls Love Bags

I'm going to do a little promo for my friend Karen, creator of Venezie Bags. I've been a loyal fan from the beginning and her bags just get cuter and cuter every time.

She has a contest going on her blog to name her latest design. It needs to be a New England name (go ahead and use Google to look some up!) and you can enter as many suggestions as you see fit.

If she likes your choice, you win a free bag! I carry a few of these and get comments all the time, so show her some support Broke in Love fans!

Growing your waist while shrinking the bill

On the train home the other day, I was reading the Improper Bostonian as I usually do when I'm short on books and have exhausted my ipod playlist. I was shocked at the number of ads for restaurants offering deals to get bums in the seats. Most of the deals were 3 courses at fancy places you could never afford if you were concerned with wallet weakness. The bottom line: if you're looking for a special night out, check your local high end dining establishments. These places are especially screaming for business and devising innovative ways of offering high quality food at lower prices. Also, if you're like us and like a good glass of wine and little bites of different things, a lot of places are now offering tapas menus to get people in for lower prices.

So get on Google or pick up your local arts and entertainment magazine to find those deals! Dining specials are the perfect way to try out a new place...and save a little cash in the process.

Don't forget to check out Restaurant.com for certificates to bring the price of that bill down. We use these often!

For the Boston blokes and babes, lets not forget Restaurant Week! (this year it's over 2 weeks!) If you're not in the Boston area, see if your local city or town arranges one of these weeks.

No Cost Fun: Explore your local Parks

I know it's winter and it's bloody cold. But when I looked at the weather report for the weekend and saw the big sun shining, it was easy for me to ignore the 36 degrees. I called up another couple and asked if they were up for a hike and happily they joined as well!

Getting out and exploring your local parks is something I really encourage. I'd been to Blue Hills Reservation before, however had taken an easier route the past few times. Turns out the other couple had hiked the harder trails which were extremely challenging (to the tune of me on my tummy clinging onto a rock at one point to bypass the ice). We had a great journey from where we parked by the pond in the picture below to the observation tower where the picture was taken.
Hi there little car. Right there by the snow covered pond in the distance. The magic of exploring your local parks is, a lot of times it's FREE. Also there is nothing like having your loved one by your side as you walk in the peaceful woods. And having him there to pull you up when you need the extra leverage. :)

So get out there. Get out the local guide books. Wikipedia your local area and find somewhere to explore. Don't have rocky hills to climb? Walk somewhere flat. I know you people have ponds and farms near by.....Get out there and enjoy nature together! It's a great way to get free exercise and to spend a day away from the malls and stores that tempt our wallets!

Low Cost Fun: Take a Road Trip!

Thank goodness the price of gas has leveled out a bit so my next suggestion will be met with fewer eye-rolls than 6 months ago. Take a road trip. Get out the travel guides for your area. Go online and do some cyber exploring of the towns (or for us, the states!) near you. Taking a road trip, having a basic understanding of where you are going, opens the doors for some 2 hours in a car induced communication (as well as plenty of eye rolling as your partner gets heated at the other drivers on the road).

We began our Sunday quest by going to Maine. Originally I'd wanted to have gone up for a night away to a B&B and even found a few low cost options due to the time of year. But I had to take a look at our accounts and ask myself what was really important? A night away, when we don't have any children and only a bird to really bother us at home. Or a nice drive, new scenery and some tasty food? Option #2 won, especially since I got my Dyson for Valentine's Day (a steal on a DC17 at Bed Bath and Beyond. They will match the current online price of 345.00 AND you can use your 20% off coupon. SCORE).

So ahead we went, after gassing up the car and plying ourselves with coffee. We hit the Maine border and I told the Bloke to pull off...so we took a beautiful coastal route to the town we were going to donate some hard earned cash to. We got there, barely. Note to self...start out on a road trip well fed. One piece of toast and some strawberries hours earlier does not a happy couple make. We got there, pulled into the beautiful town of Ogonquit to a restaurant I'd read about and wanted to try. The issue, the place was PACKED. 2PM and PACKED. All of the parking around the little shops were full, leaving us to drive a mile away and walk.

This was the best thing that could have happened, other than our terrible hunger, we took the Marginal Way along the water and what a sight! (photos would have been included here however I was too hungry on the way there and since it was unpaved, the Bloke wanted to take the regular street back BOO). Finally we got to MC Perkins Cove, were seated at a table with a beautiful view, and enjoyed our belated Valentines meal of lobster rolls and fries (mine with tempurai-sh sweet potato fries!) Ok. I had a bloody mary too seen below and it was GOOD!

The view, the fresh air, the food, it was the perfect get away for us. We saved $125.00 on lodging and still had a lovely day. We got home and felt like we'd done something! So many times when you're watching your wallet, we get the "Poor Me's". I can tell you, feeling the cool wind whip across my face, holding my husband's hand as we struggled along icy Marginal Way, the "Poor Me's" never entered my mind.

Total cost of Day:

Gas: $12.00
Lunch: $75.00 (Lobster rolls and fries X 2, Bloody Mary, Beer and split dessert). This is high as it is our big dining out of the month and can easily be adjusted to your needs! I would have happily stopped at a road side shack for lobster rolls, something that is much easier in the summer!

Saved: $125.00 on Accommodation

Weekend Update

Ahh if only this was going to be as funny as SNL's Weekend Update. It's not. How did the talk go this weekend? Short answer, it didn't. Why? Well the good thing is we accomplished a lot this weekend. The bad thing, we spent money we probabally should not of (notably the 600.00 on suits for the Bloke tops highest on the list). To be fair, he wears suits for work and hasn't bought a new suit in a year and a half...and his, well, some leave something to be desired. The question is, did we need to buy them NOW? The answer is no. He knows the new suits=having to pay for the new suits so I'm hoping these give him a new lease on closing deals. I have to say, being outfitted in a new suit makes me feel fresh. So Bloke. Do it. Work those new suits.

The B's are Famous (again)

Last year I had a moment of fluffy lovely feeling and submitted our love story to Boston.com. Well, they love us so much it is back online for 2009 :) Click this link to view the story, show us some love.

Have you talked with your partner about money?

I, for one, have not. Well that's not completely true. We've talked about money. We've talked about goals. We've talked until I am blue in the face about where were are LACKING and where we need supplemental income. And I complain when the Bloke does nothing about it. I stew and complain and feel it all falls on deaf ears.

But isn't part of this my fault? I do the bills. I mange the money. I've always been that person in the relationship, shouldering the stress and worry of how we will pay the bills. How I will feed us. How to avoid finance charges. The Bloke has access to our accounts but that isn't enough. Ask me how much our current primary mortgage payment is? $2541. 07 (I'm currently stalking our refinance guy to get that down!). Ask the Bloke. I can guarantee he has no idea. But who's fault is that, his or mine?

We do talk about money...in fact, it's a big topic of conversation. We say things need to change. But he goes to his computer and I go to mine and spend time online and on facebook and ignoring what is blatantly needing to be done. Taking a good HARD look at our incomings and outgoings and making a plan. I have a budget, I follow it for the most part (hah) but that's not really what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about outlining our top 3 priorities for the year and being alligned on them. That's important, getting his buy in. I've asked him what his financial priorities are and I can tell you he does not include saving money for when I'm out on maternity leave (God willing next year). That's a big problem.

So, on our 'to do' list this weekend is to look at everything TOGETHER. We have a lot coming in over the next few months (heafty tax returns, some good commision on the Bloke's deals) but the outgoings are still there plus more (a heavy credit card bill from last month is currently the cross I bare). I lay awake and fret and worry and it's not fair to me to handle that on my own but it's not fair to the Bloke for me to be passive agressive about my disatisfaction at the situation. So there. Hold me to it.

I know you're all wondering....

How it's going, the limiting e-communications during the day. Well, we're on day 3 and it's REALLY helping. Save the car ride last night from the train station, where the Bloke was arguing a bit more than usual with the NPR reporters where I was in no mood to talk.

But Monday night, I actually felt like talking to him instead of retreating into my hole. Last night, he helped by making part of the dinner. It's hard to make the shift, it's so easy when I see he's logged in online to say something. But it's making the time we spend together more valuable. Where is the fun in me telling him a stupid story in a chat window, when we could laugh about it together?

I have not left any notes. I'm being lazy since Valentines is around the corner and since we have no money for gifts, we'll at least write a note or a card. I don't want to spend all my creative juices prematurely. That sounds dirty. But I will see if I can incorporate it in.

Also this weekend I started the first of our little experiments. I'll report on that later.

Thanks to everyone who has emailed me, called me, offered support in this. What I'm hearing from everyone is how relevant this topic is. I'm not going to lie, it's a reason I created the site. So feel free to leave comments or email me!

The IM Cessation: Not as easy as you think....

I'm attempting to cut down e-communication to a minimum. We've had a series of very short one sentence messages to each other....hopefully this will leave me something to talk to him about when I get home today. I normally pour my thoughts out in that little window in my chat bar. Do I feel better saying them as I would face to face? Absolutely not. There is barely any fulfillment from IM ranting or chatting....and if I spent all day chatting with my husband online, I don't want to talk when we get home! Then it's day in day out wake up go to work come home cook dinner go to bed and start all over again!

So lets see how long I can hold out...and if I actually feel like talking when I get home which would be new for me.

Tell us stuff....

It seems Broke Babe can be clueless on the computer, which given how much time she spends on one daily....is quite shocking.

Comments on posts are now enabled....we've asked for your feedback. Now you can tell us!!!!

Mr. Digital Revolution Killed Love Letters

Early on, Broke Bloke was quite a romantic (I know I know, aren't we all in the beginning?) I miss the notes from my husband, with his crooked lefty scrawl and messages of love so strong sometimes I'd crave a glass of wine with the cheese. We were both fortunate and unfortunate with the nature of our relationship: 2 years, multiple time zones and 3500 miles apart leaves one with idle time to craft love letters. Nothing made me happier than getting a card in the mail from him.

What has our correspondence boiled down to recently? Instant messages. Even, when we are in the same house, we will communicate via IM. While this can be useful at times, e-conversations are not the same as the scrawl of your beloved. They are impersonal, text on a screen (which after a long day makes my eyes cross with weariness) They take place of conversations that might have happened after work in person, reducing the effect of the all mighty RANT. Mr. Digital Revolution, with his text messages (hate them), IMs (OK they are convenient) and emails has encroached on my marriage and I want to send that guy packing.

I don't expect to be like Bess Truman, receiving over 1500 love letters from my husband (Harry, might have been a touch of overkill but I give you credit!) but I think it would get fun to get back to the pen and paper. My parents have been married over 35 years and are chronic note writers, something I've always envied. When one of them goes away, you can be sure there is a card or note squirreled away somewhere. It's engaging, it's inspiring, it's romantic.

My quest for this week is to use some of the many items of stationary we've accrued over the years to revisit this. I'm going to challenge myself to be less lazy and to limit e-correspondence. I'm curious if this will help the communication lines any. Broke Bloke knows nothing of this yet, so lets see how he responds. Anyone care to join me?

Mamma Said

I was encouraged to marry rich as a child. My mother, with all of her best intentions, put this into my head from a very young age. She had married rich the first time (but that didn't work out too well for her which is ironic)....so she divorced and met my dad who was decidedly un-rich at that point. But they had a little house in a beautiful town and had me and everything was perfect. But as I got older, my night in shining armor left his horse and his castle and relocated to Wall Street. 'Find an investment banker' she said. She went so far as to go through my Class of 1999 college entry book we got freshman year and pointed out boys who had 'finance' or 'business' as majors.

Needless to say, things don't always work out as Mamma said. I met rich boys all right, how could I not growing up where and how I did. But I never fell in love. Not until November 1, 2002 when I met my husband, from here known as Broke Bloke, on the balcony of a New Orleans bar. He was traveling to the US for work from England, hey SCORE! He must be rich right? Well guess who was wrong. The thing is, I didn't CARE. And that's what love is about. It has nothing to do with money....it's what you feel inside and how they make you feel. And Broke Bloke is like another son to my parents.

2 years later, Broke Bloke wed Broke Babe (that's me) and whisked her off to London to live a great life in one of London's top neighborhoods. We both had good jobs, traveled loads, had the world at our feet. We worked hard to pay off debts from our past....and returned back to the USA with plenty of money. We moved to our current town, bought a fixer upper and were ready to take on the world..........

Until the lay off happened. The layoff that shook our marriage. He'd transfered to the US office from his UK company....he'd been there a while and was successful...of course they wouldn't downsize him. WRONG. So there we were with a house that needed too much love and a condo we were still paying rent on and a new mortgage and builders starting work. Oh boy. Needless to say, we got through it. It was a long 5 months but my husband was able to manage our builders while finding another job. Things were hunky dory when we got a new job in January 08.

Until another lay off in July. 2 layoffs within a year, in fact, almost exactly a year apart. Our marriage has been tested so much over the past few years.....and you know what, I know we are not alone. In these economic times, it's good to know you're not alone in getting through the tough times.

Why did I start Broke in Love? Because we need it. Because a few years of struggling over money and bills has been hard enough. I don't like being Broke In Love but I don't want us to ever become Broken Love. Is our marriage sound and intact? Of course. Are we keeping our heads above water now? Yes. Can we pay our bills? Yes. Is there anything extra laying around at the end of the month? No. Can we afford the children I so desperately want? I just don't know. And I know, I know we are not alone in these struggles.

Some of you might look at what I've written and think 'OH boo hoo. Poor You. Cry me a river'. Wealth is such a personal thing. I know we are lucky. But this blog is not a place to compare sob stories. This blog is a place to share ideas and celebrate the small (and sometimes bigger) things in life. How we get through tough times will be so different per couple, so this blog is a reflection on us. A reflection on how Broke Bloke and Broke Babe, the B's, will work on building up the fun and friendship that so commonly gets put on the backburner after worrying about bills. Thank you for joining us on our journey, I hope you'll stick around!